I put a pot of oil on the stove and waited. And waited, and waited, and waited. It didn’t start to boil, so I just kept waiting. Like I said, I knew NOTHING about cooking. All of a sudden, plumes of smoke started emerging from the pot. And, then I couldn’t breathe. The smoke filled the house and my roommates were like, “WTF Mate?!” It was so thick that it coated our lungs as we hacked up a storm. So, I carefully took the pot outside and stuck it in a pile of snow and ran far, far away.

Never have I tried frying again. Until today. Thank goodness for endless episodes of the Food Network that have guided me in my growth as a food fryer.

So, in case you have never fried before, here are my learnings:

• Oil doesn’t boil
• Do not fry food without a thermometer

Now that the PSA is out of the way, let me introduce you to my first fry recipe – Cauliflower wings. We all know them. We all love them. But, I can’t tell you how many times I have tested recipes that have you bake these little guys, and they never create the texture that I want. That crispy AF texture. So, we fryin’ today.

This recipe is really quick and surprisingly easy. You need to break off your cauli into smaller florets – the larger they are, the more water they absorb. Then, get that batter going – add some flour, cornstarch (my favourite “crisping” ingredient), paprika, chili powder, salt and pepper to a bowl and whisk. Next, pour in some canned coconut milk, mixed with another milk of choice – oat, cashew, almond, etc. Whisk it all together and you will get a nice batter. Give those florets a dunk and carefully place them into the pot of oil. Let them cook for about 3-4 minutes, until golden brown.

After you have fried all of the cauliflower, get your sauce ready. Combine a quarter cup of Frank’s Red Hot Sauce with 1 tablespoon of honey and slather over the wings. Give them a toss and they are ready.

If you are into dipping things into other things, then make my “Frank’s Aioli.” Mix about 1/2 teaspoon of Frank’s Hot Sauce with 2 tablespoons of mayo and give ‘er a few cracks of pepper and you’re Gucci.

I’m very pleased with my personal growth. Let me help you achieve your culinary fry goals with this recipe! Happy frying!

Hot and Sweet Cauliflower Wings

Servings: 4

Prep time: 15 minutes

Cook time: 15-20 minutes

Ingredients:

• Canola or vegetable oil, to fry
• 1 small head of cauliflower, broken into florest
• 1/2 cup whole wheat flour (or all-purpose)
• 1/4 cup cornstarch
• 1 tsp paprika
• 1 tsp chili powder
• 1 tsp salt, plus more for seasoning
• 1/4 tsp pepper
• 1/4 cup canned coconut milk (or skip and add 1 whole cup of ‘other’ milk)
• 3/4 cup milk of choice (cashew, coconut, oat, etc.)
• 1/4 cup plus 1/2 tsp Frank’s Red Hot Sauce (or your favourite hot sauce), separated
• 1 tbsp honey
• 2 tbsp mayonnaise
• Scallions, sliced, for topping (optional)

Instructions:

1. Set up your frying station by pouring the oil into a dutch oven, or heavy pot. Have at least 3 inches of oil in your pot. Place a thermometer in the pot and turn the burner on medium-high.
2. Whisk together the flour, cornstarch, paprika, chili powder, salt and pepper in a medium bowl.
3. Mix together the two milks and pour over the dry ingredients. Whisk until combined and then add the cauliflower, stirring to coat with the batter.
4. When your oil temperature reaches 350 degrees F, use metal tongs to carefully drop in a few of the coated cauliflower florets, making sure you don’t crowd the pot as it will significantly bring the temperature down. Fry for 3-4 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove carefully with a stainless steel spider and place on a paper towel lined plate. Immediately season with a pinch of salt. Wait until the oil comes back up to temperature before continuing with the rest of the cauliflower.
5. To make the sauce, combine 1/4 cup hot sauce with 1 tablespoon honey. Transfer the cauliflower wings to a large bowl and drizzle the sauce over them. Toss to combine.
6. To make the aioli, combine the mayonnaise with 1/2 teaspoon of hot sauce and a pinch of pepper. Stir to combine.
7. Top with sliced scallions and serve immediately.

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This is a simple recipe. Simple, yet impactful. It took me a while to nail sweet potato fries. They are tricky little buggers. But, I’ve learned a few tricks along this long and winding road that have helped me up my SPG (Sweet Potato Game). Let me tell you what they are:

Trick #1 – Cornstarch. Dredge these fries with it to help with the crispy-factor. I use this trick with more than just potatoes, too. I ALWAYS sprinkle my tofu with cornstarch before frying it. It’s a surefire way to get that perfect texture on the exterior, and it’s gluten-free!

Trick #2 – Place your baking sheet into a hot oven for five minutes before dumping the SPF (Sweet Potato Fries) on it. When they hit the pan, they automatically start cooking and developing that gorg brown colour. It’s kind of like preheating a pan on your stovetop!

Trick #3 – Space out your SPFs. If you load a pan with too many fries, they won’t have room to crisp up, and will steam instead. Let them socially distance. It’s for the best.

Well, now that I’ve given you all of my tricks, I only have one other thing to say – Dip these babies in my 5-Minute Good-on-Everything Green Sauce. Nothing else compares. Picture crispy sweet ‘tates dunkin’ in a pool of thick and creamy and greeny and herby and…freshy (?) sauce. And, then you eat them. Like, what?! A marriage of two extraordinary foods and memories that will last a lifetime.

If you make these SPF with my 5MGOETGS, take a pic and tag me on Instagram (@nevernoteatingca). I love seeing people make my recipes!

Also, if you understood that last paragraph, I applaud you.

Sweet Potato Fries

Serving size: 2

Prep time: 10 minutes

Cook time: 18 minutes

Ingredients:

• 1 large sweet potato, cut into long, 1/4 inch matchstick slices and patted dry
• 1 tbsp cornstarch
• 1/4 tsp paprika
• 1/4 tsp salt
• pinch of cayenne (optional)
• pinch of fresh black pepper
• olive oil
• sea salt, for topping

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit. Place a large baking sheet into the oven while it preheats.
2. In a small bowl, combine cornstarch, paprika, salt, cayenne and pepper.
3. Add sweet potatoes to a large bowl and sprinkle the cornstarch mixture over them. Use your hands to toss the potatoes and dry ingredients together until coated.
4. Carefully remove the baking sheet from oven and place sweet potato fries onto it. Be sure to space them out. Lightly drizzle some olive oil over the fries to help them crisp up.
5. Bake for 10 minutes, flip and return to oven for another 5-8 minutes, or until browned and crispy.
6. Finish with some flaky sea salt and serve with my 5-Minute Good-on-Everything Green Sauce.

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